Monday, January 19, 2009

doomed to be a crazy old duck lady

Some of the most fun times I can remember have been feeding ducks at local ponds. Once a friend and I spent an hour naming all the ducks in the Fairmont Park pond. Did you know ducks will catch bread in the air if you toss it to them, just like a labrador? Did you know that ducks take revenge on eachother by tearing out feathers with their bills? Maybe those are just the retarded inbred pond ducks. I admit they're a little gross... but mostly just funny.

One time in Summer of 2007, at Sugarhouse Park, I noticed a tiny baby duck had been separated from its mother and was just sitting at the edge of the pond. We tried to lure the mother and other ducklings in with bread, but they came and ate and left. The little lost duckling tried to follow but didn't get very far. That's when we realized it couldn't swim well. So, figuring that it wouldn't live long in the pond, we took it home in a Burger King bag. We let it swim in the bathtub to wash off and held it and played with it and researched about what to feed it.

I named him Crispy. You can't tell me he isn't one of the cutest things you've ever seen in your life. I fed him little pieces of cereal and made plans of all the fun things we would do together. A pet duck... What could possibly be better? That night I put him in an old shoebox with some towels and put a lamp over the box to keep him warm. I went to bed and dreamed I was that girl on the movie Fly Away Home. All those geese thinking I was their mother and following me everywhere...

The next morning I woke up and immediately went to check on Crispy in the shoebox. He was dead. I guess the duck mother knew what she was doing. There was something wrong with him and she knew he'd die so she left him. I was sad for awhile; my dreams of having a pet duck crushed (so dramatic)! After a couple days I moved on and the Sugarhouse Pond dead duckling incident was pushed to the back of my head.

This past summer, while living with Sar in an apartment downtown, I found myself very bored with my senior thesis paper. Thus most of the time that should have been spent researching and writing was spent watching Friends episodes. She had almost all the seasons so I watched almost all the episodes. Joey and Chandler got a pet duck! They were living my dream!

All the sudden I HAD to have a duck again. I researched about having a pet duck. Turns out they actually don't need a pond or any sort of water to sit in on a daily basis, just a bath every few days. And the best part is that they are great indoor pets. You just have to have them wear these special duck diapers. Here's a quote from a website called the Goose's Mother and Father. It's all about raising ducks and geese as pets. I think the lady is pretty ridiculous but she does know a lot about it. And she sells duck diapers

If you had a duck as kid, have found a duck, rescued a duck, plan to get a duck or just like to visit the ducks in the park, you should know that you can diaper a duck/goose (even a chicken, turkey or peacock)! Then you can go walking with it, sleep with it, travel with it, watch TV with it, play with it, and feel it give you a warm, soft hug! They are the cleanest, most loving, loyal, amusing, and beautiful companions you could ever have."

My favorite part is that you can "feel it give you a warm, soft hug!" haha... but seriously, watching TV with it?!?! awesome!

duck with a diaper

duck with a diaper lookin' in the mirror.

So I've decided that when Jonathan and I get back from Ecuador, I'm getting a duck. Who cares if I'm a crazy old duck lady. The only problem is that Jonathan thinks he's going to eat it once it's fully grown. ugh. We'll work something out.


Michemily said...

I love the idea! I do have to warn you, though, duck meat is soooo good. Just how often do you have to change a duck diaper?

Sarah Williams said...

You are special Amanda and don't you forget it...Actually I am a little bit sad after all this talk of getting a duck and we didn't get to experience it together. Oh well. Owls are cooler anyway.

Jessica said...

So..are duck diapers disposable, or the wash and wear type? I just can't see how one would change that duck diaper. Changing a wiggly little baby is hard enough..I can't imagine changing a duck! But, hey, if that is your dream, go for it!

cathy said...

Well, if the duck thing doesn't work out, I'll cook it for you. Duck a l'orange!

amanda said...

I just don't think I could raise a duck, change its diapers every day, and then eat it. :)