Friday, September 25, 2009

duck pajamas

thanks to everyone who commented on my post-college crisis thoughts from a couple of days ago. it's nice to know i'm not the only one in a weird spot in life or that hates that need for money is guiding my decisions. i appreciate hearing people's thoughts and experiences. sometimes, through being honest and open about our frustrations and hardships, we can really comfort and motivate each other. yes!

jonathan and i just got back from volunteering at ascend's (the organization we interned for) annual gala. it was quite an experience to sit in the company of people throwing around thousands of dollars for basketball games, private concerts, and vacations during the live auction. of course it was all for a good cause and i know the people in the countries that ascend works in will really benefit from the money coming to them. (it would be cool if we didn't have to use luxury vacations to get help to the poor, but if it works, it works. aaahhhhhhh i said it. whew feels good to get that off my chest. okay.)

jonathan was in the silent auction with his design skills up for bid. he spent days (and even pulled an all-nighter after they made a bunch of print changes) designing the program for this gala. so we were hoping someone would bid on him at the gala to help pay for his hours of work on the program design. we don't know if anyone bid on him yet. i have to say, i'll be disappointed if he doesn't get paid for his hard work.

BUT we can live off of canned tuna and rice here just like we did in ecuador if we have to. and there are always our parents for a nice meal. it's funny to think that we're about as poor as the people we worked with in ecuador right now.

well, financial security is overrated. i'm serious. i'm happier now, poor, than i was a couple years ago when i had a lot of money.*

plus, jonathan is wearing my duck pajama pants right now (from the girls' section of aeropostale), and that makes me happy too.

(no pictures please:)

*not to say one can't have money and happiness. someday.... someday.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

this is what happens when you don't feel like giving up your husband to guys night.

What I am doing right now:

(the edge of the laptop screen in the bottom left corner of the photo means that i'm participating in my own amusement... not wii mario battle or whatever it is.)

What I wish I was doing right now:

(the blanket is every bit as soft as it looks. the pink wingback chairs next to me are the ones i hope to reupholster... someday. also, when did jonathan take this picture?)

What I hope Policia is doing right now. (and not chewing up chair legs or eating rat poison)

Monday, September 21, 2009

feeling philosophic

what is it with all these thoughts in my head?

how is it that i have four chairs and a kitchen table and a headboard and walls that all need painting or reupholstering or both and i haven't started. why can't i start?!?!

is there ever not someone in the del taco drive-through? nope. there is always someone. always.

i want kids. you really have to have money to have kids?

my dog is cute. why does he love jonathan more than me?

family is the answer to life.

i love colorful walls but i really want to paint my walls gray.

it's getting cold outside. crisp. it feels weird. aren't i supposed to be going to school when this happens?

i met this girl that's really nice. like really really nice. seemingly genuinely nice and caring. like she wants to really make you feel good and welcome and happy and belonging. really. why do i have to wonder if it's fake niceness? are people really that nice with no motives? can i be?

how did i ever get lucky enough to have someone that makes me happier than i've ever been just by being himself? who he is. even when i'm sore and exhausted from work and being a grown-up i'm just happy when he's there. i can honestly say that i don't care how sappy or mushy that sounds. and the below picture...

says it. sums it up. i love it. sappy mushy happiness.

vacuuming can change your outlook on life. (and in a way that sweeping never will. there's always that line of dust and tiny crumbs that won't get on the dustpan.)

maps are so beautiful and intriguing to me. but why?

what am i supposed to be doing at this exact point in life? if money were not an issue, what would i be doing right now?

basically i don't know what the heck i'm doing. i studied politics. i'm working as a server. i feed people and fancily open bottles of wine and hope i look like i know what the heck i'm doing. because i don't. and when people are snooty to me and look down their noses at the waitress that just brought them the wrong spaghetti and doesn't know what wine to drink with salmon and grated parmesan cheese onto their cell phone... i wonder what the heck i'm doing. and even when i get a huge tip because the couple loved their just-attentive-enough server and delicious food and perfect wine... i wonder what the heck i'm doing.

i know step-by-step u.s. foreign policy during the cold war. i know about lots of u.s. presidents and what they did and why and how they got elected. i know that great britain has a constitutional monarchy; that gabriel garcia marquez often wrote in the literary style of magical realism; that cinco de mayo isn't really mexico's independence day; when to use the subjunctive tense (usually). now i'm learning about differences between merlots and pinot noirs and chiantis and that pasta florentine means that it has spinach and how to make lattes versus cappuccinos.

and what does any of it matter? is all of my knowledge only important because of the experiences i'm having while working to gain it? because i sure can't solve any pressing political problems of the day. i can't even take a side. and i can hardly bear to listen to people who talk about the side they've taken. i can't solve the illegal immigrant family's poverty, suffering, and worries by speaking spanish to them. i don't even want to be able to tell someone what wine they might like but now i have to.

you know what sounds kinda good?

move into a little log house with rocking chairs and with lots of land. have chickens and cows for food. maybe a goat too because they're funny. grow crops for food. burn a fire for warmth and a candle for light. read books and sing and dance and play games for fun. have a duck and a pig and a couple more dogs for pets. bake bread and grow pumpkins for the county fair once a year. simple life. not easy, but simple.

anyone with me?

Friday, September 11, 2009

It's all a game of give and take.

I think everyone knows that sometimes life just doesn't give you what you ask it for... or even what you think you deserve. Sometimes life even tells you it's giving you something and then takes it away. Sometimes life just takes and takes.

I have to try to remember during the taking times how good the giving times are. And for me, the giving times the past year have given a lot of good stuff.

Recently, Life took away a cool job that I had for only 3 days.
Well... maybe it wasn't going to be that cool of a job anyway.

Life took away 650 dollars to give our cute dog a plasma transfusion and overnight care at the emergency vet to stave off his extreme internal bleeding (He ate rat poison.).
BUT he lives and is currently wrestling with Jonathan on the floor next to me.

Life took away a chunk from the bottom of my foot thanks to a rusty nail right before my 6-hour server shift. And then it took away 40 bucks more for a tetanus booster.
At least I made enough in my shift to pay for it.

Life broke the drivers' side door to my beloved little red truck (or was that Jonathan?).
Then Life loaned us another car to drive for awhile and it even has AC and power steering (thanks Mom and Dad).

When Life was making us a little discouraged about rent prices and unemployment,
Life decided to give us an nice aunt who offered to rent us her basement for a good deal.

I guess the point I'm trying to make to myself is... Life is sometimes hard but good anyway. Also, marriage is awesome. And so so poor.

So for those of you out of the loop (who care to be in the loop), I found a job as a server. Jonathan's working on freelance graphic design jobs, looking for a more consistent job, and getting ready to go back to school in a few weeks. We live in Laura's basement. The red truck has a couple more dents and the door doesn't shut right. Rat poison is the devil. Someone needs to think of a less painful and less dangerous way to kill rats and mice. Moving has made me realize that I keep too much stuff and that life is just as good without literal excess baggage. Now someone throw it all away. (Notes and homework from my first semester of college as a metallurgical engineering student? I seriously thought I should keep that?) Policia (our dog) is scared of the guitar when it's being played. My lil sis is preg. woo! Also, Jonathan has a beard.

How's that for an update?

Oh, Sarah's been asking to see a picture of Policia, or "Cia," as we usually call him. (yes, he answers to "See Ya!" Oops.) So today will be his big blog debut.

My mom says he looks like a Dingo. Dingos are wild dogs from Australia. The vet said he looks like an Australian Shepherd. We know he's a mut from an indigenous village in Ecuador. So maybe we'll just call him an Ecuadorian Shepherd.

My boys.

When he was suffering the effects of rat poison. Evil evil rat poison.

Here you can see where the vet shaved his right leg to put in the catheter for the plasma transfusion.

Here he is playing with my family dog, Cleo. It's a semi-long video for what it is so I'll tell you that the highlight for me is from 00:59 to 00:30.

Okay now I definitely feel like a mommy blogger. Except I'm just a dog mom. Nothing to be ashamed of. Right?

So. That's life for now.